“‘Aluminium siding’ will be it.”
“Be what?”
“The death of us all.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“What I’m talking about, my friend, is the continued wanton perversion of the English language, and your leading role in it. I’m telling you. Remember when we used to say “nuclear?” No more. Now it’s “nucular.” I mean, people say “for all intensive purposes,” on television. I swear it. We are getting dumber by the day. It’s ridiculous. I mean, the word “literally” now can be used to mean “figuratively. Literally the silliest thing ever. And I do mean it literally. Under the old meaning.”
“Christ, I meant ‘aluminum.’ Can you ease up a bit with the grammar police drama? I was just looking for your thoughts on whether to go with aluminum or vinyl on the house. Not an English lesson.”
“Irregardless, my point, nonetheless, was that it’s a slippery slope. Once you begin accepting these small shifts, they gain acceptance. It’s insidious. But that’s how it happens, you know.”
“Wait. Did you seriously just say ‘irregardless.’ That’s not even a word.”
“Yes. Well. Yes – of course – it is. Anyway, back to the point of the matter, I’d go with the vinyl.”
