And after this long, there is no hope of getting unbroken. None. Eggshell everywhere. Like Humpty Dumpty.
* * *Held down underwater in the town pool. No one else is there, and the water's cold. I stretch out my arms and legs, to get away, to surface, to live. But everywhichway I swim, I push myself deeper down. How is this possible?!? What to do, but laugh? But underwater, it doesn't even sound like laughter. And at any rate, why am I even laughing? None of it is funny. Not to mention that it makes it harder to breathe.
* * *How is this fair?
"Life isn't fair." That's what my Mom always used to tell me. But I know she didn't mean like this. She couldn't have.